For months you may have been plagued by thoughts and suspicions that your husband might be in an affair. You may have taken every dire measure you could think of: hired a private investigator, followed him as soon as his car drove off the curb or rummaged through his credit card bills and call logs. Every time you uncover a clue it also pains you. You have the need and the right to know about his affairs but at the same time the pain can be too much to bear.
Today, men have a lot of options in starting an affair. One, he can meet and start an affair with his officemate or colleague in his work place. Two, he may have been eyeing on a lady who frequently goes to the gym. He may have already pulled some moves on her and the two of them started dating. And three, he may have subscribed to an online married dating. One can easily read a website review such as ashleymadison.com review and start an affair online. It’s important to read the detailed review before jumping to a conclusion about ashleymadison.com being a scam.
Online married dating has made it easier for people to start a relationship or an affair. He may have chosen online married dating because he can meet a lot of women, who are also looking for an affair, in one place. Online married dating can also let him get to know a person without having to meet her immediately. He can take his time getting to know her by sending emails or chatting with her. He can also easily erase all his browsing history in one click. Passwords can keep his laptop or account safe, making it harder for you to track down his steps online.
You may have asked yourself many times what you did wrong to make him go in an affair. You know for yourself that you have remained loyal and kept the respect that your husband deserves.
You know that you are innocent in the whole situation. Asking the question “why” means you are taking the guilt and responsibility of the problem. There may be some reasons that can justify your husband’s actions. Remember that it was he who committed the affair. If he truly valued his marriage with you then he should have made an effort to fix it. Starting an affair does not solve anything it only makes things worse. No matter how much you rationalize with him you will never be able to come up with the right answer. Even if you do arrive at an answer, it won’t do much to solve the problem anyway.
Much of the problem lies within your husband. Men who cheat often cannot control their emotions. They get easily swept away by how they feel. These types of men do not identify the core problem of the situation and plan out a solution. Instead, they find some sort of diversion to keep them from facing and solving the problem.
Here are some of the reasons your husband is on an online married dating site and is cheating on you:
He is Sexually Dissatisfied
Your husband may be looking for something fun and exciting which he does not experience anymore with you. So he goes out and seeks this excitement and satisfaction from another woman. Most men think of this ridiculous justification that if they are not happy with the sex in their marriage, it’s okay to go out and find it with another woman. They think that everything will be fine as long as their wives remain ignorant about the whole affair. Even if he did not tell you about the affair, he has already made a huge damage in his marriage with you.
He is Just In for the Thrill of It
Aside from the sex, he may have been intoxicated by the excitement that an affair brings. For him, this excitement is like a drug that keeps him hooked. He may have found your marriage boring. He wants to experience something new and fun. Engaging in something that is “wrong” may have an appeal to most men. For some, the idea of “affair” and “cheating” is more exciting than just the sex.
Plain and Simple: He Disrespects You
Love is the foundation of marriage. Many people may have the wrong perception about love and confuse it with infatuation. Many people think that it’s the giddy feeling you get when you’re with the person. If your marriage was built on such notion it is doomed to crumble sooner than you think. Respect, trust and honesty are also the core foundations of love and marriage. You can never separate those values from each other.
If your husband cheated on you, he did not respect the boundaries that he should have set in the marriage. Even though how much you explain it to him, you will lose your value to him. He should have ensured that if he valued the marriage in the first place. It won’t be a surprise if he’ll continue or start another affair.
It’s Probably Bigger than It Seems
Did you know that your marriage could be null and void if your husband did not disclose important information that could be a threat in the future? For example, he could be bisexual and he did not tell you about it. He may love you dearly but since there is something about his sexual orientation he seeks to find the satisfaction elsewhere. This satisfaction that he is seeking is something you will never be able to satisfy. He did not tell you about it because he still wants to save the marriage.
Another secret that he could be keeping is his dissatisfaction with you. He does not want the marriage to go into a disaster and just wants to find a temporary escape. He could not tell you about how he feels because he’s afraid of hurting you. So he starts an affair and tries his best to keep it a secret.
Basically keeping secrets is one of the reasons why your husband will be pushed to start an affair. Your marriage is already flawed when there are secrets that linger. That is why honesty is a fundamental recipe in a marriage.
Sex is the Ultimate Measure of their Masculinity
To turn down sex and be regarded as a “pussy” or a Beta Male, this may be the most skewed and most absurd reason that men can think of. Most men think they can measure their masculinity by the number of sex they had with different women. Remember that there are many men in history that have bedded hundreds of women, like Giacomo Casanova and Genghis Khan. The sad part is when they are feeling an inner pressure to be above their friends.
Another reason why men feel such is because they have self- esteem issues. They accept the sexual invitations from different women in an attempt to fill their empty self- confidence.
There are many other reasons why your husband cheated or might cheat on you. Whatever his reasons are, it will continue to damage your marriage. What hurts more is if you have children who will suffer because of your husband’s infidelity. If your husband blames you about the chaotic marriage, remember that you were suffering the other half of the situation but chose not to enter an affair.